2 posts in a day, wow.
so I have to go out tonight. A belated birthday party followed by meeting up with some old college friends that are visiting. Actually, I made out with one of them and then ruined it when I wouldn't let him into my bedroom (because I hadn't been waxed) -don't even get me started on how screwed up I was about that whole situation. He was a dick and a year later he admitted to me it was cause he was a virgin at the time anyway. jesus, i know, right?
okay so here are my questions to you all. if there even is a "you all" out there:
how do I know that the "guy" isn't "the one"? How do I get over him? I have to see him everyday. I don't want to tell him I like him and give him that satisfaction. I just don't know how to do it. How do you walk away from someone in your mind, when you can't walk away with you feet?????????
3 comments:
It's a process. It takes time. You spend a day and when you think about him you purposely turn your thoughts away to something else. You can even use the old "negative reinforcement" by wearing a rubber band on your wrist and give yourself a snap with the rubber band every time you think about him. Little by little, you make your life busy enough and you ignore him when he is around and you work (yes, work) at doing anything but thinking of him or being around him. You don't wish for him to change (he won't) and you don't hold out hope for something to happen (it won't) and you just get on with your life, minute by minute, day by day, week by week and one day you will spend a whole day and never think of him at all.
AND, here's how you know he is not the "one". He is not pursuing you. He is stringing you along. If you were the one for him, and he for you, this would not be so one sided. Chances are if you actually knew him better, I mean really knew him, you would begin to find things that would show you that he is not the one. It is like the Dad says in Juno (the movie), you want your "one" to think the sun shines out your ass, and vice versa. Does he feel that way about you?... because there is someone who will and for whom you will feel the same.
Oh yeah, and Lilly, it isn't easy. Some days will suck but you just get through it. I had to do this a few times in my life and honestly, there is a long time boyfriend that I still think of occasionally after 28 years. Crazy, huh? That's life. If you are meant to be together, it will come to pass but you must let go of any thoughts of that and move on. Your life is stretching out in front of you.
Apologies for not dropping in for a while.
Not point in him being "the one", if you aren't his. My wife is my best friend, took us a while to realise that there was a relationship there. I also have a "second best friend", and she was my "best man" at my wedding - we still talk at least once every week or two. But she's just a really excellent friend, not my life partner.
And then there was my first love... who tore my heart out by dumping me to go out with someone else... who two-timed her with his long-running girlfriend.
Do you really want someone who hasn't bothered to mention he has a girlfriend?
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