Okay so it's been a few days since I posted and I have to admit, a lot has changed.
Firstly, and most importantly, I actually was offered the summer job that I thought I blew. I'm really grateful for this opportunity but I'm wondering if I'm making the right choice. There are 2 other places I think will give me offers that I would seriously consider..oy the possibilities. Anyways though, I've accepted.
I was thinking about something the other day, something which I have actually thought a lot about. Like I said, I'm Jewish. I also believe in G-d. However, I don't believe in the G-d the Torah articulates; I don't believe in revelation or anything like that. I think Jews are special, but not in the specific, biblical "chosen" sense. I more believe that G-d is inside us (all people, in general). It's what make us appreciate life and have the ability to conceptualize it's beauty. So what does that make me? an agnostic Jew? is that a contradiction? It doesn't feel like one and it can't possible be because that's who I am.
I saw Michelle Obama speaking yesterday and it really moved me. That doesn't mean I think Obama should win. It just moved me.
Things with the guy are the same. sort of. he asked me (via email) to hang out one-on-one (go to a hockey game) and I ignored the request. Since the invitation, I've spoken to him in person and over email, but I just haven't addressed the non-date-but-I-feel-like-it-would-be-if-he-didn't-have-a-girlfriend question. I'm desperate to confront him and tell him I am unable to hang out in that kind of way, but I'm scared. Also, we have to spend so much time together I fear the awkwardness would be a disaster.
I will continue to maintain the ever-loathsome status quo. For now....
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2 comments:
Obama came to Kansas on his way to California.
My best friend and college crush who dated my roommate for a time... Gay. I remember how hard it was hanging out with him when I was feeling more than just friends but it never went anywhere.
I honed my gaydar, he moved to Calif. and met a nice boy and we are still very good friends.
May not work as easily with this guy, but you never know what may happen. Maybe he has feelings for you too but is reluctant to rock the boat with his current circumstances.
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